Maintenance query....please help me!

Okay I'll shorten the post a bit

Original agreement with husband

€75 maintenance a week
Custody. Would meet half way between here and Dublin every second Friday and pick up son Sunday.
Take him for a week during mid term hols and Christmas and summer for 3 -4 weeks
Would pay for any extra cost our son may occur like swimming lesson, etc. Our son has foot problems and see's a private specialist not covered by the medical card so we agreed to pay 50/50 on this
Ex's income €40k - has another Dependant child with his new partner.
My income €27k

Now the situation is
Still getting the €75 a week, but recently stopped it when he had our son on hols for 2 weeks, is prob going to do the same next year
Now only see's him once a month.
Did get his school books this year (didn't get any help previous 2 years) but has told me anything else I will have to pay for like the swimming, football and even the specialist costs for his foot problem, including buying the expensive shoes etc.
Will not be taking him for any extra holidays, it will be once a month and thats it so when it comes to the 3 months summer holidays I will have to pay for childcare or lose out on wages and take the time off work.

More worrying than any money, he is mentally abusing our son. He is terrified of going to see him. If I stop my son then he will cut the maintenance off (he told me so) which I do need but for the sake of my son I will manage with out.

I think perhaps http://www.womensaid.ie would be a good starting point .

TBH, I hadn't time to read your post. It's too long, most parts irrelevant to your query, i think. Perhaps you should edit it drastically to the main points. Re SW: I scanned the post and it appears that you have declared the 75 quid maintennace, so why ask are you being dishonest?

Welfarite said:

TBH, I hadn't time to read your post. It's too long, most parts irrelevant to your query, i think. Perhaps you should edit it drastically to the main points. Re SW: I scanned the post and it appears that you have declared the 75 quid maintennace, so why ask are you being dishonest?

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Presumably as she is co-habiting with somebody?

DubShelley said:

Presumably as she is co-habiting with somebody?

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As a co-habiting couple you have a household income of €51,300 as your partner earns €24k and you earn €27,300 (220 FAS + 230 LPA + 75 Maint x 52wks) so you are being dishonest with social welfare. Are you or your partner claiming rent allowance also? You would not be entitled to this either on an annual income of over €51k.

Don't think same-sex couples are treated as co-habitees for revenue or social welfare until they register as such.

I know my post was very long but I wanted to give a brief history about my situation. We are not claiming rent allowance or fuel allowance or anything like that.
Do you think I'm been greedy if I seek more maintenance cost?

The post is way too long, what is your income I've got 225 + single parent allowance? plus 75 maintenance. I assume you get child allowances as well? So far it's 15600 annually.

Your ex is on 40K and has 1 child to maintain plus his child with you is that correct? He also takes the child once monthly and presumable there is a cost to that.

A judge is only going to look at figures. How much more maintenance do you want?

He was incorrect to not pay you the 2 weeks maintenance as this is an agreement you had reached.

In relation to custody Irish judges tend to be quite traditional.

I have to say I am shocked at the negative response to the poster's original query. She has qute obviously been unfairly treated by her ex-husband regarding the financial agreement made following the break up of their marriage as a result of her lack of knowledge of the Irish legal system. As a single mother who has spent much time in court over the last 12 months representing myself while I waited for my legal aid to come through I would advise you
1. To visit a Free Legal Aid Centre immediately. There you will have access to a Solicitor for a one-off visit who will highlight the issues involved, outline a general course of action and advise on your best route to obtain full representation.
2. Apply for Legal Aid as quickly as possible as it can take up to a year to come through and you will be treated like dirt in Court if you end up there without representation.
3. Keep a diary of all events relating to your ex-husband and son.
Best of luck with it all and don't settle for anything less than you and your son deserve.

Thanks for your reply s, think I have a clearer idea of what to do now.
I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't doing anything wrong in the SW eye's too before taking the next step.

S.N.Dipity said:

I have to say I am shocked at the negative response to the poster's original query

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I don't see any negative responses, just advice to shorten the post so that people can respond to her main queies and get a clearer picture of what advice she wants. She has done that now and it seems the issue is mainly about maintenance rather than welfare or benefits, which nis the title of this forum.