leaving to join a new job - possible problems

hi all,
my partner has handed in her notice to her current employer as she has been offered a position elsewhere having gone through a series of interviews. her boss in the current place shes leaving wanted to conduct an 'exit' interview on the spot, this is usually done after or prety close to the end of the notice period, she refused and is to do it tomorrow. The problem is that the main reason she's leaving is her boss, who would be conducting this meeting... the company shes going to have asked her to provide them with references for them to ring but she worried about the repercusions that may ensue if they contact her current boss... is there any advice on what she should do? she is currently trying o contact previous bosses shes had within the current company...
Thanks in advance

Be upfront with the new employer about her difficulties with the current boss. Ideally give them the names and contact of proevious bosses whom they can contact. Current employer is obliged to give a fair reference but anemic and bland comments may lead to wrong opinions being drawn. However if she has already been offered the position the reference should only be a formality.

she has been offered the job over the phone and she rang them to accept it yesterday. It seems like the references are only a formality but the last thing she wants is this boss giving her a bias reference...

It is very poor practice for the immediate superior to conduct an exit interview. It should be someone more neutral, for instance a member of HR.

The only one who benefits from the interview is the employer, not the employee. In an indirect way it may benefit the employees who come after you but you aren't there to be charitable. Also there are some managers who can take criticism and other viewpoints and there are those that cant. I did an exit interview recently but it was with HR, and I toned down my criticisms. My company was one of those American companies that don't give references but expect them when you join, so it didn't really matter either way. I was unhappy with some of what my boss did, but could get a ref from my previous manager in the same company.

I'd either turn down the exit interview saying you're focussed on the future and can't see the benefit, or else say very little except bland "wanted to do something different". After all, if you didn't get on, then the happier you look with your move, then the more it will annoy your ex-boss.

"she was offered the job over the phone" ....I hope she got a contract which she was happy meet the agreed conditions of employeement , start date, time of work, pay , job specification, title , and other procedures etcbefore she handed in her notice.

Yes, always go with the bland approach for the exit interview. Burning bridges etc.

The only one who benefits from the interview is the employer, not the employee.

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Is correct and in that frame I would be reluctant to even attend an interview as it won't get you anywhere.

tiger said:

Yes, always go with the bland approach for the exit interview. Burning bridges etc.

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I agree also. I am aware of a situation recently where a formal job offer was withdrawn after a reference had been received. Unfortunately you haven't any control over what is actually stated in a reference but there is no point in doing or saying anything which might exacerbate the situation. There are all sorts of acceptable reasons why someone decides to leave a job.

thanks for the advice folkes,
she has put forward names of her previous bosses from within the same company, she worked with these for alot longer than the current one she has had issues with, and forwarded them on to her new empolyer. She had rang both of these individuals previously and they said they would be happy to reference her.
The only outstanding issue is with her current boss and this exit interview... is she intitled to refuse to attend it or is that just stirring an issue that will hopefully be a bad memory in the next month or so?
Thanks again thus far

Can she get one of her colleagues or another senior manager to act has her referee, instead of her line manager?

positivenote said:

thanks for the advice folkes,
is she intitled to refuse to attend it or is that just stirring an issue that will hopefully be a bad memory in the next month or so?
Thanks again thus far

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Of course. Try.

"I really enjoyed my time here but I think it is time to move on and I am very much focused on the future. I hope you don't mind if I don't do the exit interview"

Not only is it not bad form to avoid this but I've read some experts who say definitely not to do an exit interview.

Also they are not taking the process seriously themselves. Anyone who puts the line manager in charge of the exit interview is just ticking a box saying that you have to do an exit interview. Allowing a Line Manager to do it is absurd... First question "So you don't like me then, is that why your deserting us?" .

Hi,

Every job I have left I have been told by HR that the Exit Interview is compulsory (as it comes under the "anything else deemed necessary" in the job description).

The best way to do this interview (as I have done so in the past) is to go into this with the view that you are leaving. Even though it is because of your boss, just answer all the questions with a different frame of mind. After all once you leave the company on the last day, that’s it.

No more old nasty or narky boss who made your life hell...

The best answers I find for leaving your company is "looking for a greater challenge" or "looking to take my career in a different direction" or "looking for a different perspective".

I just smile and answer the questions as briefly as possible, and if I am asked to elaborate, then I politely state "that is all I can think of" (NEVER say "that is all I want to say on the matter").

Good luck with this, and always remember tomorrow is a new day

Have to agree with r0nn13,

for the exit interview, play it nice and easy. There was nothing personal as to why your partner wanted to leave, she just outgrew her role and this new opportunity presented itself out of the blue. BTW, you are grateful to the company for having helped develop her potential to progress her career to this level.
Your partner should keep everything reasonably positive (but have a couple of non-personal, tips for improvement (organisation wise) as she will probably be asked ideas to improve the company)
In terms of her new company, I would not refer to personal issues with her previous boss, certainly not until she is well ensonced in the new job. Referring to personal issues with a previous boss may cause people to wonder whether the boss was the problem or she was the problem....
As per other posts, ask other trusted and senior members of her organisation whether they would be happy to act as a referree.
BTW, lots of organisations insist on only the most bland of references as if a bad reference results in a withdrawal of job offer, they are open to being sued, so if things are progressed as per above, I don't think there will be a problem

thanks for the advice everyone.
much appreciated as always