Inserteneo
Registered User
- Messages
- 23
It's always difficult to solve problems like this. Rearing 2 children is hard, very hard, as is trying to have a life. Seems you have got a new relationship and life, but your wife has the responsibility of being at home with the children, this is not easy and we're not told if she has a life outside of the home. I see you have €255 set aside for maintenance and mortgage savings, she doesn't have that privelage and it adds up to a substantial amount every year. She uses €50 in diesel every week, that's a lot of mileage and you're almost fuel free in fairness. Both your car insurance premiums seem very high. All in all I think you could give the mother of your children more than you are, maybe in the region of €100, not forgetting you're going to get a 10% increase of your own.
I think you should reread my post, also we were never married.
She is not working and has no intention to work, childcare has been offered to her for 5 days of the week free of charge and arrangements can easily be made for Tuesday and Wednesday if she had to work for these days. I have a duty of care to support my children but I do not have a duty of care to support her, she has made the choice not to work.
I am currently living at home with my parents and it is only a temporary solution and I cannot stay after the first Christmas after turning 30. This is has been my parents rule, not just for me but for my older siblings who also moved out at or before the first Christmas after turning 30.
If I was to give her an extra €100 euro a week I would not be able to afford to save for a mortgage, never mind having to pay rent or pay for a mortgage when the time comes, paying the extra would also mean that somebody who does not have a job would have more disposable income than somebody who does, but still have a house and everything provided for, I cannot see how that would be fair?
The 10% increment does not equate to a 10% bump in take home pay. I will only take home an extra €134 a month after tax has been paid, which I will need to pay for a mortgage and/or rent when the time comes.
I have a duty of care to support my children but I do not have a duty of care to support her, she has made the choice not to work.
Another problem in our society are people who have kids in order to secure a financial future for themselves. If she was to work the kids could easily be supported by hers and my earnings.
42
she holds the entire deck.
You and your new partner would be better renting until the kids are 18 because she will keep coming back to the well, a well which will be more fruitful if you get married.
Maybe not, but in my case I raised two children on my own and had to deal with these sorts of issues every day. You have a choice, you can listen to the very sensible advice you've been given here... or you can learn it yourself the hard way.I understand that none of you are in the current situation
After another weekend of not being allowed to see my children I have decided that it is time to go to court.
She wants me to pay her €250 maintenance per week including still splitting school/christmas/birthdays/medical/dental and that until I pay this amount I am not allowed to see my children.
The solicitor has suggested €150 per week with conditions. In relation to my current partner even if we were to get married it would not make any difference to the maintenance I would have to pay as my partner has no legal responsibility for my children and the maintenance can only be assessed on my personal income and reasonable expenditure, although expenses will be halved in terms of rent/bills etc for the house.
It will be recommended that she attend a rehabilitation clinic appointed by the court during the times that I have the kids and that maintenance paid is directly to rent and other bills. The main reason for this is she has not paid rent in almost 3 months and has not paid for tax/insurance but still drives the car, I can only imagine where the money went.
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