First and foremost I want to thank you all very much for taking the time to reply - I know it probably shouldn't, but it actually does help to know that other families have gotten through similar or worse situations, so thanks.
We are to have a family meeting this week, I will attend and probably 1 other sibling. The others cannot/will not make it.
As far as I know, there is no option of him moving in with any of the family - it has not been mentioned. Home help would not be enough in this situation, and because he lives in a rural area then I dont imagine that a live in home carer would really be suitable either. I'm guessing that the family meeting will maybe help us more with these decisions, though from speaking to both the occupational therapist and the nurses, it would seem as if they certainly think a nursing home is really the only option.
Being honest, I dread the thoughts of having any conversation about nursing home etc. with my Dad, as I feel myself that he just doesn't want to know and is probably still thinking that he is going home. The OT thinks that Dad may be further down this line of thinking than we realise though, and that it may not be as bad as I fear. The guilt is enormous, and I fear that my father may get very angry & depressed if he thinks he will never again get home. But being realistic, even if one of us was to give up our jobs/lives and move home, then I dont physically think we would be able to care for him on our own.
Its just such a shock to see him stipped of his abilities and dignity, I feel as if my heart is breaking.
As for the family rows, well it seems you're damned if you do and damned if you don't - if you do a lot then the other siblings feel as if you are trying to take control and if you dont do a lot then you are not pulling your weight. I know we are all adults and just need to be aware that this is a time of high stress for us all & to try not to fly off the handle.
Good to know re having to inform the house insurance brokers about the house being unoccupied, I would not have thought of that. Neighbours and my uncle are keeping a good eye on the place also.
We do have one nursing home in mind, which is close enough to home (so his friends and family could visit) and seems to have a good reputation. I guess I'm just in denial about what has happened some of the time, cannot believe how much of a change this is for my father and for us all - he has always been the backbone of the family & held us all together when my mother passed away suddenly a few years ago. It really does just seem cruel
Thanks again for the support & concern, I know we will get through this and please God he can get back some of his independence over the next few months.