We built our own house 8 years ago and installed a similar heat recovery system. I would view it as a positive aspect in the house you are considering purchasing. We have had no problems with ours, it has needed no servicing except that I change two air filters in it about once every six months - a fairly simple task. Two negative aspects of it is that there is a constant very low whirring noise from it which may be heard in a quiet house and which some people might find annoying, though in your case near the M50 I don't think this will be an issue. The other problem may be the position of vents in the room, if I am directly under a vent bringing air into a room I can feel a definite draft, therefore they need to be positioned away from where beds, seating or dining areas might be. I am no expert but will try to answer some of your queries.
I have heard of no link to sick building problems. I believe it leads to a healthy atmosphere as there is constant 'fresh' air coming into the house leading to the moisture content in the air becoming lower naturally.
We very rarely open a window in the house in winter or summer. The system does seem to have a cooling effect in hot weather.
The pipes in our attic are placed so that they will not interfere with the attic being converted in the future. I presume this would be the case in all well designed systems where there is a possibility of the attic being converted. However, you would definitely need to check this. I don't think you would have to connect any new room into the new system, you could use vents instead, however like with all vents you would get heat loss. I'm not sure if having the heat recovery system elsewhere in the house would make this more significant than normal. It might not be as expensive as you think to link new attic rooms into the system as you will have existing piping close by.
I don't think you should place too much importance on the heat recovery system. It wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me one way or the other, I would view it as a bonus if it was in the house that I wanted.