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I think you are right about the 5 years clause before you can rent out a FTb's home.
1. we cannot rent out his apt until after another 3 years?
2. we cannot get FTB mtg?
3. we need to pay SD?
If we do want to buy a house together, in what way can we do but not to break the LAW?
If you want to keep your FTB status but still want your boyfriend to pay half the mortgage then you can do the following:
Apply for the mortgage on the basis that you are both joint borrowers but only your name is on the title deeds.
This way, the Bank who is assessing your application will take both your incomes into consideration (but also your BFs current mortgage repayments, other loans etc) and you will still keep your FTB status.
I got my own mortgage this way. I would not get approval on my own so my father joined in with me on a "joint borrower, sole title" basis. Even though he has other properties, I still was considered a FTB.
However, under this agreement, the "asset" is yours alone so you may have to work out an arrangement with your solicitor so that he also has a claim to the property if it was sold or you split up (God Forbid! But these things can happen and you need to think of all eventualities).
This only works with a parent/relation situation. It does not work in the scenario OP posts. OP is not a FTB on the original scenario. The intention quite clearly was that the joint borrower would have an interest in the property.
mf
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