The inlaws showed up at my husbands bedside in intensive care when he was not looking unlike he was going to make it, after a lifetime of never being there. Broken home, father remarried.... father never held up his end of financial support for them as kids etc.
My husband knew it'd all go wrong because he knew his dads need for control. I was a bit wet behind the ears having grown up in the bosom of a rather normal family with a wonderful Dad. It was me who coaxed him to look into accepting his dads offer.
The rent for 3 years wasn't really the only catch. I only became aware of the catch at all when my father in law insisted that we couldn't move any of our own contents into the house (pissy beds from elderly couple who lived there before us to sleep on), couldn't have our children choose their own bedrooms, "child A must sleep in this room, child b in that", our dog HAD to sleep in the shed, we couldn't get a cat etc..etc...
The final straw came when after an hour of measuring "our" bedroom to insist that our beautiful bed we own would in fact, fit, he started insisting the bed head be faced in the direction opposite to the lovely view. I went home and asked my husband what the hell was going on and why his father felt the need to dictate every tiny detail of our lives in the house.
He then told me we'd just be renting for 3 years, under the kind of control we were already seeing prior to even moving in. His dad had insisted on secrecy. Even between ourselves.
We can't see a way that we can live under the thumb of someone who moves the goal posts every time you give him what he wants. We walked away from it all. He still wants us to move in.
He now has a holiday home in a town where he has an ex wife and two sons who don't talk to him. He lives in the original family home worth a 6 figure sum with a woman he married bigamously. They understandably have a need to make sure that in the event of his demise, her standing is secure in that house. His actual first wife, my husbands mother, has her name on the deeds of the family home and is hale and hearty.
The house bought for us was purchased in 2016 before the change to the law. I'm thinking the plan was that the requirement to avail of the dwelling house exemption (to not have a share in any other dwelling) would require my husband to waive any claim he has to the family home.
They refuse to discuss things with us. Its not possible to have a rational discussion with people like that.