Desperate for advice - seperated, mortgage and loans dilemma

J

Jayjay80

Registered User
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Please can someone help me.

My husband and i split up in 2007. He had the better job and was from the county we lived in and wanted to keep the house so i took our son and went back to my home county to live with my nana.

Unfortunatly she died later that year. Her house was a govt property (came with my grandads job) and upon her death i was issued an eviction notice. I also lost my job around this time (have been working since aged 16 am now 31).

On this basis i was granted rent allowance and i also returned to college on the Back To Education Scheme.

My ex and i also had a credit union loan in my name with him as guarantor for which we had borrowed for house deposit and furnishings etc. We were splitting the repayment of this loan and he was paying maintenace for our son which went on childcare costs.

Then in December 2008 he just decided to stop paying everything! No mortgage, maintenance, credit union. Having NEVER been in arrears in anything before i panicked and started to pay the mortgage on my credit card etc...dont ask what i was thinking. I appled for a moritorium and they refused and i also approached the credit union but they did nothing to assist either.

To cut a long story short - as it stand the mortgage is now 9 months in arrears. I havent lived in this house in 3.5 years. My ex has absolutely no intention of paying anything. The mortgage is €1250pm. If i rent the house i might scrape €600 at a push. But i never want to move back there again, plus i cant rent a property and maintain my rent allowance! And im never going to be in a position to repay the €650 balance. Oh and i should also add that he has moved into a new house that he has started renting with his new girlfriend in the same town where our house lies unoccupied!

He also refuses to pay the credit union. He did go into a meeting and agree to contribute €50 a week but then didnt bother. It should be €80 every week. I have been paying €30 every single week myself as its all i can afford.

I took him to court for maintenance and he agreed to pay €350 per month. He hasnt bothered with this either. I know he gets paid part cash in hand (bar/club work) so he just says he cant afford it, even though he agreed it it!

I just dont know what i'm to do.

I think i should just hand the house back to the bank. The stress is killing me and im on anti depressants. I know they can pursue me for the balance but i simply havent got it, and to be honest i dont think they can possibly pursue me anymore even though i have been keeping in regular contact with them. At this stage my credit score is already on 9 so it couldnt get any worse. Should i make myself bankrupt?

I have tried my best with the mortgage. I pay my €30 off my credit union every week. I pay €120 off my aib car loan every month. I am never in arrears on my gas, esb, phone nothing. But im sinking into a depression and i cant see a way out of this mess.

Please help. And please spare me the lectures. Im already devastated enough thinking that i will never be able to get a mortgage again to buy a family home for me and my son, never mind send him to college.

I should just add my credit union loan is €27k approx. My €30 does not cover the interest which i think is around €57.
Mortgage balance is approx €253k with arrears of around 7 or 8k
My income is approx €220 back to education allowance and my son is aged 4
 
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First thng is first, stop panicing about not being able to send you son to college. Plenty of kids take out loans themselves and go to college and pay it off when they finish. In fact I think it's an Irish thing paying for everything for your kids 3rd level education. Across Europe they pay themselves. Secondly, go to the money makeover section and fill out the template. You don't say whether you're legally separated or not. You might clear that up.
 
Age: 31
Spouse’s/Partner's age: 31

Annual gross income from employment or profession: €224 pw social welfare
Annual gross income of spouse: Unknown – refuses to disclose

Type of employment: Im in college he works in a pub/club

In general are you:
(a) spending more than you earn, or
(b) saving?


I am getting by but cannot manage to save.

Rough estimate of value of home €150k
Amount outstanding on your mortgage: €260
What interest rate are you paying?

Other borrowings – car loans/personal loans etc

Credit Union €27k
Visa €5,500
Car €3,300

Do you pay off your full credit card balance each month? No
If not, what is the balance on your credit card? €5,500 I have been over the limit of €5,100 for months but am trying to get it down.

Savings and investments: None

Do you have a pension scheme? No

Do you own any investment or other property? No

Ages of children: almost 5

Life insurance: Mortgage protection on the house, paid by me
 
You need to apply for civil legal aid and get a solicitor to issue separation proceedings. It will sort things out somewhat. At least you'll know where you stand
 
I am sorry for your circumstances, if it makes you feel better, there are many more people in similar circumstances in Ireland today. If you take some action you may feel better.
I recommend that you contact your bank asap, explain the situation, if the house is rented the bank will want the income towards the mortgage payment, in the meantime you should discuss the possibility of voluntary surrender of the property back to the bank, the bank will deal with your ex seperatly if required. If the house is sold they might agree not to persue the shortfall or make a very long term arrangment for a nominal amount at a very favourable interst rate. Next year there will be changes to personal debt law dirven bt the Law Reform Commission, this will mean that after ytou have made every effort to pay what you can after a period of time, the debt will be written off.
Contact all other loan providers, card and credit union, explain that you will make your contribution, even if nominal eg if all you can afford is €5 a month then pay this, this demonstares you willingnesss to try to do what you can and is looked upon favourable in court if you got there.
Record all phone calls ie document dates, conversations etc, keep a file with all correspondence and confirm all agreements in writing if you have made any and keep a copy on the file.
Cut up the credit card, make no more mortgage payments on this, this makes now sense, go a meet the bank re the mortgage now, face to face if you can, not on the phone.
 
Ailesbury said:
If the house is sold they might agree not to persue the shortfall
Next year there will be changes to personal debt law dirven bt the Law Reform Commission, this will mean that after ytou have made every effort to pay what you can after a period of time, the debt will be written off.
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Ailesbury what's your actual experience of banks writing off the shortfall of the mortgage/sales price?? Or are you just speculating? The OP wants advice and experience not just careless comments with no actual substance.
 
fizzelina said:
Ailesbury what's your actual experience of banks writing off the shortfall of the mortgage/sales price?? Or are you just speculating? The OP wants advice and experience not just careless comments with no actual substance.
Click to expand...

Don't be rude, and don't make sweeping statements, I don't have see any requirement to have my credentials endorsed by you. Safe to say if you're asking these questions, you don't have the experience to make a recommendation, so listen to someone who does as opposed to jumping to conclusions. The OP can speak for themselves and probably doesn't need your intervention.

Now if I can continue, in some cases that are deemed 'vumerable' an institution may decide not to chase the debt, particularly if the borrowers circumstances are very adverse, there is asuble differecne here between this and debt forgiveness, banks in the main will not forgive debt, but in some cases if there is little return to be gained, they may leave the debt to one side. There is a chance that if the borrowers circumstances improved significantly, that they revisit and request installments. No bank will publically forgive mortgage debt and if this has happened it is only in exceptional circumstances and is not made public, this would, if it happened, open flood gates of borrowers with similar requests and in addition scare markets that fund our institutions.
 
Hey, I'm in a similar situation and trying to get a handle on stuff. Well done for keeping on top of all your household bills, and returning to education. Not an easy feat at all with a young child. I was wondering if you went through court to obtain maintenance and if so, if your ex-partner is not paying is he then in breach of a court order? If so, can he be brought in front of the courts again? Can the courts order a deduction from source from his income? I don't know if that's an option or not. You definitely need legal advice and sounds like the main thing is to sort out the house. Could you sign over (or have him sign to you) the house and one of you take over the mortgage? If he took it over and moved in, maybe he would get mortgage interest supplement so it may suit him, and you can walk away from the debt on the house. You really really need to talk to a solicitor, and try to bring someone with you if at all possible, preferably someone v. level headed. If the debts are just in one of your names, I would think that it's that person that's responsible, but you need to check all this out. You have taken the first steps and at least have a handle on where you are at financially which is great that you are not just burying your head in the sand, but you really need professional advice as this stuff is a minefield. Go to your citizens advice bureau maybe and see if they might have legal clinics. the best of luck with everything. If you can keep us posted as to how you get on with the lenders and so on .
 
Legal advice is a good idea, get in front of MABs as soon as you can, they will talk you through the next approach if you are comfortable with this, they have contacts in each institution, have standard letters and can co-ordinate your approach. There may be a few weeks wait, they are in demand.
 
Thanks for your comments. I have contacted newbegginings but they are presently dealing with people with imminent court dates only. I have contacted mabs, they called me to say they have a 6 month waiting list so cannot take me on and that i should call the bank and hand back the keys. I will be taken to court for the balance and to produce a list of my income and expenditure for the judge. Also there is no way of making him pay his half of the credit union so i may have to face court over this again as it is in my name. (the mortgage is joint). I have managed to clear my credit card now so at least thats gone.

My ex wants nothing to do with the house despite the fact that he was the one residing there, he has literally just walked away. He lied to me and said that he was getting mortgage interest supplement backdated and that was why i started paying it on my credit card, but of course he has never even applied for it!

I will let ye know how i get on.
 
I know you said you did not want to live in the house but maybe reconsider that. If you are getting back to education you would also qualify for the mortgage interest supplement from community welfare. This would mean letting go of the rent allowance and getting the mortgage interest covered which may appease the bank. You also need to go to the court and get a date to bring your ex back over non payment of maintenance. Good luck
 
You need to get in front of MABS, call their head office in Blanchardstown, ask to speak to supervisor and explain your adverse circumstances, outline that you have been told you can't be seen becuase they are booked up for 6 months. If this fails write a letter to the MABs General Manager at their Head Office as follows;
MABS National Development Ltd
2nd Floor
Commercial House
Westend Commercial Village
Blanchardstown
Dublin 15

Let us know how you get on, keep you're chin up.
 
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