Child maintenance & disclosing income...

Hi All,

Any help with this will be greatly received. Quick version: I was with a girl for a few weeks and finished as she was becoming more & more strange! Couple of weeks later she makes contact & says shes pregnant. I have had no proof of this and have no wish to see her as she really is off the wall crazy, I wont go into detail with the problems she caused me.

Bottom line, on the off chance she is, if I have to go to court in the future about maintenance, what will I have to disclose? Obviously my earings & outgoings such as mortgage etc, but do I have to disclose my savings etc as well?

I would like to point out that if I am father I will pay maintenance no prob, but dont want to have to hand over excessive amounts

Other posters will no doubt tell you more detail on what you have to disclose financially but just wanted to mention that you should insist on DNA test before you agree to anything.

Any use?

Thanks ClubMan, I already looked at that, but it gave me no new info. Truthseeker, I would definitely have the test done.

Just out of interest what do you think would be a reasonable amount per month to pay?

Any use?

Thanks Clubman, that would seem to include savings alright :-(. Truthseeker, I honestly have no idea. She is putting me through hell with harrasment at the moment, but doing it in a very clever way that the Gardai cannot prove, and is even claiming to be a victim of harrasment herself, from people out to get me!! You would not believe what is being done!! To answer your question, if it was to a normal person I woul not even go to court I would just offer say €400 pm as I have a mortgage bills etc, but to her i'd pay as little as possible.

I severly doubt she is anyway as I have had no proof such as doctors letter etc, and she apparently told someone who knows me that "She's pregnant but is in danger of losing it!"

uptherebels said:

Thanks Clubman, that would seem to include savings alright :-(. Truthseeker, I honestly have no idea. She is putting me through hell with harrasment at the moment, but doing it in a very clever way that the Gardai cannot prove, and is even claiming to be a victim of harrasment herself, from people out to get me!! You would not believe what is being done!! To answer your question, if it was to a normal person I woul not even go to court I would just offer say €400 pm as I have a mortgage bills etc, but to her i'd pay as little as possible.

I severly doubt she is anyway as I have had no proof such as doctors letter etc, and she apparently told someone who knows me that "She's pregnant but is in danger of losing it!"

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I hear ya. Sounds like its a nasty situation alright. The amount you state sounds reasonable actually, but something for you to remember is this - you say if it was a normal person youd offer that, but to her as little as possible. The money is not going to her. Its for the child (if indeed one exists) - I know it looks like youre giving it to the mother, but its for the childs upbringing so no matter how much of a headcase the mother is remember the child is the important person in it.

I am no expert in this area but just based on friends I know who receive maintenance 400pm seems to be a good 'norm'. The shame about going to court is that is costs more money - money that could go to the child instead of solicitors - so wait and see, she might accept that as an offer if she is pregnant and the child is yours.

In the meantime keep a record of communications from her (particularly texts, emails etc...) as it will be in your favour if you can prove that she has in fact been harassing you from the beginning.

truthseeker said:

I am no expert in this area but just based on friends I know who receive maintenance 400pm seems to be a good 'norm'.

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Surely it depends on the circumstances and means of the parties involved? I doubt that extrapolating from specific cases to the general case is meaningful.

They have an ad on channel 4 about child maintenance and a child sitting on a bench with no coat,hat or gloves and no lunch....so sad, Please think about the child in all of this.

ClubMan said:

Surely it depends on the circumstances and means of the parties involved? I doubt that extrapolating from specific cases to the general case is meaningful.

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I agree - however, based on the maximum that district courts can award per week for the child it would seem to me that 400 per month is a reasonable sum to generalise on.

OP states he has earnings and savings - so he is not unemployed and penniless. But he also states he doesnt want to hand over excessive amounts - so he is not Branson either.

Susanna said:

They have an ad on channel 4 about child maintenance and a child sitting on a bench with no coat,hat or gloves and no lunch....so sad, Please think about the child in all of this.

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I will - what's his name?

hi, i was reading all the mails and replies. if u are not certain, its ur baby, how could u be certain, she would spend the amount in baby's upbringing.
could be another constant monthly income for her. the only person to suffer would be the baby.

I think you should wait until you know she actually is pregnant before asking hypothetical questions. If the guards are involved and she is as unstable as you suggest (which begs the question why were you with her in the first place), I recommend you document everything. And yes you will have to tell the court everything you are worth for them to decide on maintenance. They will decide the amount based on the needs of the child and not on what your opinion is of how much you should give.

Bronte said:

I think you should wait until you know she actually is pregnant before asking hypothetical questions.

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Forewarned is forearmed. However nothing posted so far justifies the involvement of the Gardaí as far as I can see. If it is or becomes a case of harassment then that's a different matter.

ClubMan said:

Forewarned is forearmed. However nothing posted so far justifies the involvement of the Gardaí as far as I can see. If it is or becomes a case of harassment then that's a different matter.

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True enough to be forewarned is forarmed but he did mention the Gardai in post 7 so it must be quite serious. There are some people out there who are mentally challenged and are clever at avoiding getting detected. It happened to someone I know and it took a long time to end it.

"There are some people out there who are mentally challenged and are clever at avoiding getting detected. It happened to someone I know and it took a long time to end it."

Thats very true, let me paint u a brief picture:

Split with long term partner and met this other girl a while later. Seemed nice so started dating. After a while she said someone was textting her out of the blue warning her off me etc, then the texts started getting more personal & describing my movements & house layout etc. It was then I really began to be suspicious as some of things described only she had seen as I had changed house around a bit. She then came up with an old number for my ex saying she was told if she wanted to know who was behind the texts call that number. I gave her the red card & she then rang my ex in work and asked were we back together etc and did she know anything about the texts. She then began saying to me that someone was threatening her as I owed a debt (I never had a debt in my life).

Since then my life and that of my friends has been hell. My parents had to change their number due to hang up calls at all hours, my ex is being plagued in work with calls and my boss is even getting texts, all from "Someone I owe or she's gonna get it"

I may not be describing it very clearly but everything happening points back to her. Its pure vindictiveness but very clever.

truthseeker said:

Its pure vindictiveness but very clever.

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So do what truthseeker suggested above and then you have some hard evidence to support your complaint to the Gardaí if this turns out to be a criminal matter.

I have done. I've been to Gardai numerous times but they say they can't prove anything, as she is claiming she's being harrassed as well. It all kicked off after I went to the Gardai originally & they called her to request she stop contacting me.

She has set up e-mail addresses and mailed people who know me, got hold of my bosses number & text him (all off different numbers). The Gardai are no help to be honest.

uptherebels said:

The Gardai are no help to be honest.

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If you keep records of all allegedly nuisance/harassment communications then presumably they could trace the calls/emails/txts if deemed necessary?