You're in a tough situation Dairylea but don't feel rushed into making any decisions. I don't have experience of using legal aid (didn't qualify) but I never heard any comment that they would be inferior to a private solicitor. I would warn you that going the private route is expensive, very expensive if you end up having to go the whole way to court. Its nerve wrecking having to wait for a legal aid appointment, I know even in my own situation the waiting nearly killed me, you just want it done!
Two bits of advice I'd give you:
1. all of this takes an incredible amount of time, in my case more then 3 years. So as much as possible relax, live your day to day life and as others have said remain civil (even if you want to tear your hair or his out) and don't commit to anything with him.
2. Get a good support system, have the friend you can rant at but more importantly have a friend that is sensible and can see both sides - they'll be the one that keeps you grounded and reasonable when you have to deal with the ex. If you don't have someone like that consider a counselor/therapist. Best advice I was ever given was keep the emotional stuff away from your solicitor - they're there just for the legal stuff!
You will get through this.