Bullied at Work - Should I stay?

[Diziet]

Hello,

I don't think moving job might work (?) because bullies are basically jealous cowards and no matter where you go to work another coward will be jealous of the same physical/mental quality you possess which this bully notices.

I don't agree. There are good and bad people everywhere, and if the above was true then every competent employee would be a target of bullying, which is patently not true.

If you move, there is no reason to say that you would encounter the same behaviour.

 

[Mpsox]

Very confused by a lot of things in this posting.

Firstly you said your contract of employment had expired but they are keeping you on without giving you a new contract. How can they do that?

Secondly you mention holidays. who actually has the authority to grant you time off. ?I would imagine your line manager is responsible for agreeing your holidays. The fact that he/she refused you one day may be perfectly reasonable if it is not suitable or the holiday quota is full. Refusing you a days holiday is not actually bullying

Much of the rest of what you are saying is hearsay, hearing rumours and stories back from colleagues. Do you actually have any proof your manager said this? will your colleagues support you if you make a complaint?

I accept this is an emotional issue for you. However I would honestly question at this stage if a complaint would get you anywhere

If you wish to take it forward, I suggest you start keeping a diary, with dates and times of specific incidents. You could also ask for an explanation as to why your leave is being refused.

 

[television]

H! Vanilla, thanks for your comment. I am definitely leaning towards finding a new job - might be difficult in today's economic climate and I live down the country, though not too far from Dublin that I couldn't get some temporary work.

Moving may not solve your problems. Although you are not to blame for being bullied, whos to say the conditions where this is happening now could not happen again somewhere else. You need to deal with this first. Then move, knowing you have come to terms with it and sorted it out.

 

[pinkyBear]

Hi there,
I have massive sympathy for you as I have a nursing background and I know how bad things can get. I left nursing as a result fo being bullied during my Nursing days. This is a complex one - I would seek advise from either your INO rep or Siptu rep about this.

I would also recomend keeping a diary of events that occur, note any witnesses as well. Should you hand in your notice????

That really is up to you - if you dont see yourself in nursing absolutly investigate courses that will enable you to go in the direction you want to. You might also take heart your Director of Nursing may well be aware of this persons behaviour..

Best of luck I've been there..
P.

 

[pinkyBear]

Hi there,
I forgot to mention there are two very good agencies - Allience and Nurse On Call - I have no affilliation with either.
I worked with both and found NOC brilliant and they also have work down the country..

 

[elainem]

Hi! everyone, thanks for your replies. Pinky bear thanks also - no one can believe what the bullying in nursing is like unless you have worked in it - I think its endemic. Its nice to hear from someone who knows what its like. Thanks for the info about nursing agencies - have already applied to Alliance and they said there is loads of work for rpn's.

I have decided to resign. The way I looked at it was that I, along with two others, were the target of a bully in the U.K., the fight was long, ardurous and emotionally exhausting. It's not that I have a problem standing up to bullies, but that I don't think it is worth it this time. I live a modest life, so can get by with rental income, maintenance from the children's dad for the children, and 4 agencies shifts a month should be about €1,000 after tax.

An excolleague of mine was also bullied in the same hospital. She went right to the top and HR investigated it. In the end she was forced to resign as the colleagues of the bully made life so difficult for her - spreading roumous, making nasty comments about her in front of others - she could not take on everyone. Typical bullying tactics where the bully tries to isolate the target. Like my ex colleague, my bully has been in the service almost thirty years. My colleague felt that it was almost impossible to get anywhere when complaining against someone who had been there so long as often the people in the top jobs, including the union reps had been in nursing school/college with them, and would back the bully to the hilt because of long-held ties.

Hopefully, in four years time, having, hopefully, managed to complete Masters in Family Therapy, I will be working partly privately, and maybe partly in the HSE, but I will have much more autonomy than I have now as a staff nurse, and will be much more of my own boss - in my view this is the longer-term way of getting out of the situation, and a career in which bullying seems to be endemic and so easily tolerated.

Thanks again to all of you for your comments and advice. Much food for thought and very enlightening.

 

[Diziet]

A very sensible plan elaine, best of luck to you. I have first hand experience of what damage bullying can do to people and how organisations close ranks, so I think you are making the right decision. The change in career path is a good, positive plan too.

 

[alaskaonline]

If I was in your position I would take the matter through the official channels.

i agree!
by the way, there are different types of bullying going on in your case such as the hostile environment harrassment i.e. your manager telling lies about you, gossiping etc. so as the previous posters stated make notes of all incidents (past and present) and start writing a report at home. your intuition will tell you then if you want to go ahead and post the official formal complaint or not.

consult your physician, who may advise sick leave until the matter is settled.

absolutely agree with her. consult your doctor and see if you can get sick leave. you can then type of your complaint without being intimidated by the bully. being on sick leave will also create a much stronger case as your health seriously suffers under this enormous stress and this problem cannot be ignored.

Research other employment opportunities as you may wish to consider making a move regardless of the outcome.

it's always good to keep your options open.

and last of all, you can also contact a Rights Commissioner at the Labour Relations Commission on 1890 220 227/01 6136700 at Tom Johnson House, Haddington Rd, D4. they deal with bullying grievances through mediation and/or arbitration. they are independent adjudicators who investigate disputes referred to them under specific legislation and are the main State Agency with responsibility towards bullying. they can assess internal investigations to check procedural fairness as well as carrying out investigations themselves

 

[pinkyBear]

Hi there,
I think you have an excellent plan and agency work is brilliant - effectively you are your own boss - I did it for 7 years on and off.

It is sad to say but I think you have made the correct decision - but what you could do is after you recieve your reference from the hospital - send the director of Nursing and HR a registered letter outlining the behaviour of the person in question. Therefore she will have to recieve it and read it and they cannot do anything to you.

But you know I have never really looked back since I lefet nursing - in IT people are somewhat more balanced! normal even.. No matter how difficult and stressful the work is...

All the best elainm.. you'll never look back once you have left

 

[elainem]

Hi! everyone, thanks again your replies and advice. Pinky Bear, I'm glad people in other professions seem a bit more balanced and normal!! I'm always amazed at how unbalanced, almost sadistic (strong words - I know) in nursing (and other allied professions e.g. social work) - which are supposedly involved in healing and nurturing. Knowing that you have never looked back after leaving nursing is very reassuring as I am about to undertake a four year (and very expensive course) in Family Therapy to change careers. Thanks again to all of you.