I agree with west, a lot of negativity on this thread...
Sisters death must have been hard, and needs support to get over this, friends, you , maybe professional counselling ....
EmmaJane,
II have hope for you as he seems to be someone genuine with issues rather than the waster he has been painted as by those who don't know him or the situation.
Gearoid
wow! thought i was reading something on an american website when reading through some of the replies on this thread! since when did a guy who is on the dole become a 'loser'...very much an americanism...and not the nice part of american society.
everybody seems to be coming down very hard on this guy. i actually think its the poster who has the problem!! and in my view, i think the poor guy involved here would be better off without a such a girlfriend who would allow him to be slagged off as he has been above!
everybody seems to be coming down very hard on this guy. i actually think its the poster who has the problem!! and in my view, i think the poor guy involved here would be better off without a such a girlfriend who would allow him to be slagged off as he has been above!
I have to agree. Not to be too hard on you Emma Jane but there is an underlying neediness in your posts and you appear to be placing demands on a person who may not be in a position to meet them, not due to any inherent inadequacy on his behalf but because he has family and emotional pressures to deal with himself. Its not his or any other persons responsibility to help you pay your mortgage or meet your working and bill commitments, its yours.
Its not his or any other persons responsibility to help you pay your mortgage or meet your working and bill commitments, its yours.
Is there anything you would recommend him to do to help himself get a job, to be honest, I need someone stable for the future.
I have my own house,car,and good job.
I don't agree with this at all. She is not placing demands on him, in fact the opposite, she is making no demands at all and facilitating him. She is meeting her own commitments no problem and I don't think she needs a talking to about that. The problem is, she is worried whether he will meet his commitments should they plan a future together, should they become parents eventually. She has not personally attacked him and called him lazy, just wants to know what she can do. No woman wants to be looking into a future where she has kids and a husband who is not able to look after himself never mind anyone else. Of course he may change but that is what she is trying to help him with.
he lives at home with the parents, but thats because they are ill
and she has left 2 babies behind her, of which they are also living in the house,with the parents and my boyfriend.
If you read the posts you will see the patern. Apart from the fact that we have been drip-fed explanations that may explain better the man's predicament and in fact led by her ommisions to some posters writing very negative and uninformed opinions on one post the OP states that she would like him to move out of his family home where he is staying to look after his parents who are unwell and move in with her to "help pay my mortgage". On another she ponders why she she should works and pay her bills when he doesn't. He was unemployed and living at home when they met, my perception is that her perogitives have changed and she wants his to.
Code:he lives at home with the parents, but thats because they are ill
Alot of people are presuming his parents are looking after him, maybe he is looking after his parents..
I wonder if this was a female who was staying at home to look after ill parents, and nieces / nephews who had recently lost their mother , would everyone be so negative.
He has told me that he sees a future for the two of us, and he knows he has to find a job, or at the very least, do a course to get him started.
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