Asking personal Questions at interviews??

B

BONDGIRL

Registered User
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Just like to know your opinion on being asked Personal Q's at interviews for work?
I was asked yesterday, do I have a family... Immediately I got very on the defensive and asked why he needed to ask such a Q and was the answer going to make his mind up about me, I am a woman. He was then a little shocked and said no , of coures not I am interested as I am a family man etc. this was a phone interview for a fairly good professional job. Before I continued I said "well its very hard for a woman to get a good senior job these days without being judged on her home life". He was even more apologetic.. Anyway I told him my story (married kid etc)...
Now I cant help thinking if I dont get job its because of my situation.. This was a full time job and I really was interested in it, phone interview was 1 hour 30min. He said he wants to have face to face next week but no call yet...............
Do you think thats it because I have a child..
Really hard to get anywhere these days when people paint you witht he same brush....
 
I've never been asked personal questions in an interview. I've been asked where do you live and how do you get to work, purely to determine if i would be using public transport etc.

Where I work there is a woman who takes sick days whenever her son is ill (completely understandable). Her husband works in a similar position in a different company (I know someone who works with him) and he never takes days off to look after their son.

I hope you have some luck with this job.
 
Well Pixie, my hubbie is brilliant and I am lucky I have family who minds my child, so I am in a new job 7 mths now and NEVER once rang in sick... only took my 2 weeks off in the summer, I work hard too. My hubbie takes time off with child is sick. He is in company a long time and established. I do feel guilty when I aint midning hmi but I am setting up a future for us... Maybe he was just "shooting the breeze" asking such a Q. Last two jobs I had I didnt even wear my wedding rings in the interview I am gone that paranoid about eerything!!!
 
It's a difficult grey area. You don't want to come across as being too defensive but at the same time, it's not ok for them to be asking these questions. I found myself answering similar questions at a face to face interview because it was in a very chatty way at the end of it. Afterwards, I realised I shouldn't have. I wonder is the way to approach it in future is side step the question?
 
There are many reasons why you may not be offered a job.

However, the interviewer should not have sought to discuss your family circumstances. By doing so, he has left himself exposed to possible charges of discrimination on grounds of gender.
 
Staples yes he does, but well he was a nice man and maybe it did get chit chattie.... I did explain my husband supports everything etc.. so we will see..
suppose a lot of women out there give a bad example, have seen it a lot... then have seen a company that wasnt a bit child friendly either, really need to find a common ground. Wish I didnt have this worry along with all the other ones. But well if he doesnt hire me, his loss as I am dam good at what I do!!!!!!!!!!
 

Oh BONDGIRL I wasn't trying to imply that mums do more work than dads or anything like that (or imply anything about your particular situation) as I have no personal experience.

I personally wouldn't worry too much, this is the whole point of job references is it not? If potential new employer wants to know the ins and outs of it he could actually check your job reference from your last job and ask questions about sick days or whatever?
 
BONDGIRL said:
Immediately I got very on the defensive and asked why he needed to ask such a Q and was the answer going to make his mind up about me, I am a woman.
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You said it yourself you got very on the defensive - an over the top reaction I would think - no offense meant but perhaps you should consider that if you don't get the position it's because you did come across as being very defensive. How defensive you were only you can know were you defensive/aggressive? , perhaps you should have answered the question and then went on to explain your circumstances and how committed to work you are etc.
 
BONDGIRL said:
I was asked yesterday, do I have a family.....
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I was asked the same thing in an interview a few months ago. I was also asked what my wife does. The interviewer then asked my age. I answered all the questions but was not happy to do so. Highly unprofessional and potentially dangerous for the company. The HR girl in the interview cringed.

A few days later I got a call from the recruitment agent to say I was successful with that round of interviews and would I come back again. I said no way. I politely explained that I was not happy with how the director had conducted the interview and I didn't want to work for the company. I don't know if she ever gave that feedback to the company but she was shocked at the questions also.

I have interviewed plenty of people and would never, ever ask for a person's age, marital status or if they had children or not. It's an interview minefield!!
 
ney001 - Well NOt much to be honest, I am not that type of girl, I should rephrase, just a little shocked he asked as I was trained for yrs how to interview and told never to ask such Qs..............

Vor - well that is what two people in my current job said, they said they wouldnt go to such a company...
 
NEy001 - on NO WAY was I ever agressive!! Sure I was being interviewed, being at my best!!! have never been agressive in my life!
 
Ah yes Pixie I know where you are coming from.. I suppose the general idea of the thread was to get an idea of what is going on these days in interiews youknow as a lot of job seekers can be very vunerable
 
BONDGIRL said:
I suppose the general idea of the thread was to get an idea of what is going on these days in interiews youknow as a lot of job seekers can be very vunerable
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+1 After asking me what my wife did the director of the company also asked me what the MINIMUM I could live on each month was. Not, what I am on now.
I couldn't work for such a person.
 
VOR said:
I have interviewed plenty of people and would never, ever ask for a person's age, marital status or if they had children or not. It's an interview minefield!!
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Is a persons age and marital status not fairly standard information to include in a cv? So there would be no need to ask this I would have thought?
 
Jeeez VOR, what a question, I'd say you're glad you steered clear!

Yeah BG I know what you mean, it's handy to know what sort of tricks they're up to as potential employers can be a lot pickier now than in the past.

I had my age (not my marital status) on my cv but I found this to be off-putting. I have 5 years experience in my current profession but am often overlooked because of my age, "you're so young, you may choose to go back to education" is something I hear (when doing interviews) quite often.
 
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No it's not. It has absolutely nothing to do with your ability to do the job. It's not a dating agency application.
 
Ceist Beag said:
Is a persons age and marital status not fairly standard information to include in a cv? So there would be no need to ask this I would have thought?
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NO. You never include your AGE or MARITAL STATUS anymore.

They can usually work out your age if you have education history...

only thing you need is your name, not even your address.

Vor: I cant believe he asked that Q too.. OMG. Outrageous
 
Yikes, I'm fairly out of date so! Agree with the others VOR, can't believe the questions you were asked either.
 
I don't see the harm in finding out a bit about a candidate before you invest time and money in them. If people are that sensitive you might wonder how they will cope under the stress of work or how they will deal with clients who don't behave by the book.
 
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