Am I being fair ?

I

ice

Registered User
Messages
396
Hi

My sister is getting married in Australia and I would LOVE to go but there is no way I'd make the flight with 2 kids (5 & 2).

I suggested that my husband take a week off work and let me go for 10 days myself...I am a stay at home mum so would love the break !

He thinks its not fair that he takes a week off with no holiday and has the kids himself etc..

I would do the same for him if the tables were turned. Would love to see him go off to the world cup or whatever but he says he would not leave me and the kids for that long

What do you think ?
Maybe its too much to expect ?
Am I asking too much ?
Am I being unreasonable ?

Would love your comments
 
I think your husband loves you and the kids a lot and is afraid to see you go off on your own in case something happens to you or the kids while you are away. He is also unsure as to his ability to look after the kids. If you do decide to go and he suceeds in his task it will give him such a lift. If you decide not to go he will feel bad about it. Wouldn't it be great if you could both go?
 
Of course you deserve to go. Why should he not spend a week at home with his children - after all you do every other week of the year. Surely its not too much to ask that he takes one week out of his annual leave to accommodate you. Are there any family members or friends nearby that could help him out during that week? Also - push the positive side of it to him- all that quality time alone with the kids, bonding with them etc etc.
 
Its not unfair, were Mrs Tonk to do the same (she works) I would send her off and mind the little dears for the 10 days seeing as it would be 'all her sisters fault' in the scenario you describe

Also there is no point going to Oz for less than 2 weeks as you spend 2 x days in transit anyway and have bad jetlag x 2 which reduces the effect of the 10 days

Also its a once in a lifetime thing unless you have lots of sisters with boyfriends named Bruce. Mind you the Tonk sprogs are notoriously well behaved and easy on the eye and go to bed at 8.30 and are therefore easy to farm out
 

How old are the kids?

If the loss of his holiday days is an issue, it the kids are under 5, your hubbie can take the time as unpaid , thus not sacrificing any annual holidays.
 
thanks for the input....we've had a chat and agreed that I can head off !


He was a bit worried about the expense as we are in the process of buying a house but I'll pare down my spending ......roll on sunny skies
 
I know it's decided but... it's tough one.

If I was in the same situation (I'm the husband).

- I would love for my wife to head off to something like this for 10 days
- I would have no problem looking after the kids for 10 days
- BUT if those 10 days were my precious summer holidays I would think it a bit unfair. Just as you would like a break from the kids, I would like a break from my work. And if my "break" was to do for 10 days what you want a break from.... it's not a holiday.

As regards paternal leave.... this is unpaid so could be an issue.

Happy it worked out for you though.
 
yes, but would she like it if she had to do "work" during it? and it is work because she will always tell you that looking after kids is "hard work".

Her annual leave in this case could have been a normal holiday with the husband.
 
A normal holiday with the husband might have involved taking the kids anyway (otherwise why wouldn't they get someone to look after them while she's in Australia), so not much of a break for poor old mammy. It's only 10 days (6 or 8 after weekends) from his annual leave of probably around 28 days so it shouldn't be that much of an inconvenience. After all, he had a part in making the kids too so he should take some of the responsibility.
 
Re: PGD1

You could take your holidays too only you'd have the kids with you! Go to a resort with a babysitters club or bring one with you and you're laughing. Drink all you want with no nagging in the ear!
 
I have family & friends in New Zealand and I'm very keen to get over there for a few weeks over the next few years. I had kind-of assumed that wife & child would dutifully tag along with me, but in a recent discussion, [broken link removed] mentioned the possibility that I would go on my own, mainly to avoid the prospect of 24 hour flights with the little one. I'm still not 100% sure if she was really, really serious or not - but it may well be the more practical solution. I'm sure there will be a payback for me somewhere down the line.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Menu
Log in
Register