Am being pressurised into taking early maternity leave..

I

indebtedgal

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Hi all

As per an earlier post I work with a very overbearing person who is essentially my line manager. On one hand we are friendly enough and have a laugh etc but thats when things are going her way but I feel she is sidetracking me in the following issue.

I am preg with twins and really don't see myself back at work after christmas, and my GP has more or less said this is the way it will be. I was silly enough to say this to herself one day and she is now assuming that I will be taking maternity leave at this time. I am not due till Feb so really I don't see myself starting maternity till end of Jan and I would just be signed out sick from end Dec till then. we have insurance at work that means I would get full pay while out sick but will only be getting the state maternity therefore I really don't want to start maternity until I have to (am legally obliged to start 2 weeks before due date) and also I don't want to be shortening the time I am off after they arrrive!!

Any tips on how to deal with this in a "gently gently" way.. She's hard work and can go into a sulk for no reason so I don't need the hassle of confrontation/picture no sound. (also worth noting she rules the roost and even her managers don't cross her!!)
 
You're perfectly entitled to take sick leave if you have a GP cert, end of story. It's none of her business and she can like it or lump it. What would she do in your situation? She probably expects no less from other people. Tell her that you think your GP is wrong and that you are going to work till end of Jan. Insist that you will be. After Christmas say that you aren't able after all and produce GP cert. To be honest this is what happens most of the time - women have every intention of working right up until 2 weeks beforehand and then find out that it's not always doable.
 
indebtedgal said:
I am preg with twins and really don't see myself back at work after christmas, and my GP has more or less said this is the way it will be. I was silly enough to say this to herself one day and she is now assuming that I will be taking maternity leave at this time. I am not due till Feb so really I don't see myself starting maternity till end of Jan and I would just be signed out sick from end Dec till then.
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I don't understand. How can you tell at this remove that you will be unfit for work after Xmas due to illness?
 
I don't really want to discuss medical issues clubman, i'm only going on what my gp told me and I just need advise on the related work issue... Hope you understand!!
 
I don't think you should have said anything to your line manager for one but ho hum it's too late to change that! :) So you just need to continue working for as long as you feel able and once you feel you are unable to work (be that December, Jan or Feb) THEN go to your doc and see what they say. If they give you a cert to say you're sick then you get sick pay if they reckon you are well enough to work and you reckon you are not then you will just have to take your maternity leave. I don't see the problem. It has nothing to do with your manager.
 
I think annR has covered matters so as far as I can see. I can't really understand why you said anything at all about "plans" to go sick after Xmas to your manager in the first place especially if your relationship with her can be fraught. But since you have just do what annR says I guess. You should not worry unduly about how she reacts if you are doing things by the book.

Post crossed with moondance's.
 
hindsight is wonderful, and i regret saying anything to her, but can't change that now. Basically when it comes to filling out forms , i want to put a date in January as start date for maternity leave, but she is going "oh you need to put down December, sure the doctor told you you'd only be able to work up until then", (for the record not that it matters, but i am here 10 months now,will be over 12 months by d day, have never called in sick once, stay late a good bit and do whatever is asked regardless of whether it is my job or not)
 
Put down the date you want to take leave (I mean end-January) and submit it.

If she queries it just tell her you think the later date is more accurate given information to hand. Then, when the time rolls around take leave in accordance with your medical advice.

Your colleagues views shouldn't inform your medical leave and statutory entitlements.

z
 
indebtedgal said:
hindsight is wonderful, and i regret saying anything to her, but can't change that now. Basically when it comes to filling out forms , i want to put a date in January as start date for maternity leave, but she is going "oh you need to put down December, sure the doctor told you you'd only be able to work up until then", (for the record not that it matters, but i am here 10 months now,will be over 12 months by d day, have never called in sick once, stay late a good bit and do whatever is asked regardless of whether it is my job or not)
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jaysus... she`s really interferring with things that really arent her business ; ie - their your forms, its your pregnancy. She has NO RIGHT to tell you what you should write on your form. however you could mention that if shes so determined to interfere in your life, invite to take over the birth of your babies too...

Watch her, I wonder is there a case for bullying here?
 
re a case for bullying she can get very close to crosing the line all right but always seems to check herself just in time, i think a lot of the problen is that she lives in the MDs ear and is a different person around him. There have been complaints in the past about her. I think i will do what the other poster said, just submit the forms with my dates on them.. (while she is on hols!)
 
On a more general issue .... in my opinion skirting such issues and doing things such as telling her details that she does not need to know about or deliberately submitting forms when she is away hardly seems conducive to dealing with things in a mature/adult way or to creating a good working environment. If you or others have problems with her management approach then better to deal with them in a practical and constructive fashion within the remit of the relevant company structures/processes. Pussyfooting around such issues is silly and just perpetuates any real or perceived problems.
 
Do you have to submit your maternity forms to your line manager?
I have to submit mine to HR only, and it's up to them to inform the manager.
This might avoid the immediate confrontation issue if this is the source of your anxiety. If she does tackle you on the issue, then just be frank and take the advice of the previous poster.

Also from her perspective she may just need to line up a replacement to begin straight after Christmas vs. end Jan. Perhaps she is just working this out and you are adding 2 + 2 and getting 5? Maybe you are panicking over nothing?

Put down the date you are due to begin your maternity leave. Sick leave is something that you can't predict but in my experience some women have no intention of working up to the end and always factor in going sick for the final part of their preganancy. Mostly it's due to the fact that they aren't physically able to continue their jobs while heavily pregnant - can imagine that might be especially true with a twin pregnancy.

At the end of the day what counts is lack of stress to you and the babies so don't worry about it and don't pass any apologies for looking after yours or their well being.

Best of luck with everything.
 
Do you have to submit your maternity forms to your line manager?
I have to submit mine to HR only, and it's up to them to inform the manager.

I work in HR and these forms have to be submitted to the line manger as we have a large number of employees.

Also from her perspective she may just need to line up a replacement to begin straight after Christmas vs. end Jan. Perhaps she is just working this out and you are adding 2 + 2 and getting 5? Maybe you are panicking over nothing?

Good point.

Put down the date you are due to begin your maternity leave.

Doesn't the GP sign this form as well I've had 3 mat leave in the last 4 years and can't remember exactly but am almost sure the GP signed it as well.

Sick leave is something that you can't predict but in my experience some women have no intention of working up to the end and always factor in going sick for the final part of their preganancy. Mostly it's due to the fact that they aren't physically able to continue their jobs while heavily pregnant - can imagine that might be especially true with a twin pregnancy.

I have a friend who took 2 months off before her mat leave started and it wasn't because she was sick its because she's lazy. That said I realise that some people do need the extra time off for genuine reasons.
 
Silvergirl said:
At the end of the day what counts is lack of stress to you and the babies so don't worry about it and don't pass any apologies for looking after yours or their well being.
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You need to keep this in mind. For the next few months work is secondary to you. Your prime concern is keeping yourself and the babies well. Whereas your line manager - bully or not - is only doing her job and putting work first. She has to think about who is to replace you. when you're gone in Jan will there be someone to do the job?

I would do as has been suggested - put in for your maternity leave as normal and then at Xmas if the doc thinks you need sick leave get certs.

Good luck!
 
Flax, its something to do with an insurance policy that we have at work where we get the social welfare sick pay topped up to our full salary. I don't know the ins and outs but FC has told me i can get paid in full if out sick for a few weeks.

Re the replacement i don't think thats what she is getting at as we have planned to get someone in Late Oct for a short term contact to do a particular task with a view to staying on to cover maternity.. Thats what she is aying and i think she has someone in mind..
 
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