Teachers - End of Term Gift?
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briancbyrne
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showing your gratitude for doing a good job in relation to caring and teaching your children - €15.00 does'nt sound like too much - - providing of course the teacher has done all you would expect of.
I'll be giving my Postie a bottle of plonk - approx €15.00....so........
I'll be giving my Postie a bottle of plonk - approx €15.00....so........
I agree - this is inappropriate. Extra pressure on parents. What happens if you have two or three children in different classes, some parents couldn't afford this. A box of chocs or perhaps a nice candle. After all it's just a little token of thank you that you wish to give not a big lump sum!
truthseeker
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agreed - inappropriate.
a token gift certainly, perhaps something made by the child? Or something made by yourself - mince pies etc...
Other than that candle/book/chocolates - small gift sounds fine.
a token gift certainly, perhaps something made by the child? Or something made by yourself - mince pies etc...
Other than that candle/book/chocolates - small gift sounds fine.
LDFerguson
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Another voice of agreement - nobody should suggest what (if any) gift you give a teacher. If you feel like giving a gift, choose it yourself.
I agree too.
I spoke to the principle of this school and asked if he was aware of the practice - he said he was and that the school stayed out of such issues. He said they issued no recommendations as this would be tantamount to saying that they do expect something for the parents. It would be up to the teacher if she wished to accept the envelope of cash - surely she would be mortified? My sister arrived at the school yesterday and again this morning to hear "have you the money yet?". I would liken this to bullying. She is a single mother and (like a lot of people) is on a budget. I would be happy to hear that the money would be donated to the school or to a charity but the cynic in me says that this is unlikely to be the case. And if my sister pays up this year will she be expected to pay a similar amount in June? And then twice a year for the remaining national school years? Her friend has a son in a different junior infants class in the same school and this issue did not arise.
Why on earth doesn't she just tell this other parent that she is not interested in participating in her scheme thanks very much?
Both my mother and sister are primary school teachers and through the years I've seen them come home with small gifts at Christmas that often the child would have chosen themselves, be it a candle set, a gift set from Boots or someplace or a picture frame, always something small. At the most the present would be worth €5-€10 and would be much appreciated by my mother and sister. I can't believe that parents are now expected to fork out money, in fact are being bullied into giving money! In my opinion, the OP's sister should stand up and say no, that she'd prefer to get a small gift herself - or say, sorry, I've already bought a gift.
From what has been posted so far I feel that it's a gross exaggeration to call this bullying. But then again some people are prone to making accusations of bullying at the drop of a hat these days. Obviously this militates against identfying and dealing with genuine cases of bullying. This case seems like something that a simple, polite and firm "no thanks" would sort out.
Agreed. Seems like an obvious solution for a grown and mature adult to take.
She is the only single parent in the class and is younger than most of the other parents. Sometimes it is not easy to speak up, she is shy - and there is an embarrassment at being seen as mean with money and a bit of a scrooge. She is going to "just say no" tomorrow morning at the school gates. I suppose my issue lies more with her being asked via a letter passed out to the students and if this is normal nowadays in primary schools.
I agree with all the above - a gift is a gift - it should not be demanded, even on behalf of others. My experience has also been if gifts are given they are very small; box of chocolates, etc 10 EUR max.
I think ATgirl's suggestion to say "....no I've already bought something" is the best way to go
I think ATgirl's suggestion to say "....no I've already bought something" is the best way to go
I don't really understand the relevance of this.
Fair enough - but she should just say no if it doesn't suit her and forget about the (most likely few) people who find this a cause for comment. People should not worry so much about what others think or say about them in my opinion. It's probably going to happen at some stage(s) in life so who cares?
Good for her.
I've never heard of that happening before. I doubt that it's the norm.
I agree 100% but not everyone in the world is as comfortable with themselves as you are.
To add to my original post - my 5 year old nephew came home with a sealed letter that had been handed out in the class. The teachers could not have known what it said (and presumably thought it was a birthday invite or something like that) but it was from another parent and said that instead of giving a lot of small things a sum of €15 or more could be given by each parent in order to create a generous cash gift.
Why on earth was the teacher handing out a letter that was presumably not from the school authorities? This is totally out of order in my opinion (based on the details posted so far)!
Maybe I'm just mean, but unless a particular teacher had done something that went above and beyond the call of duty or was particularly liked by my child (don't have any yet), I wouldn't get them a gift at all. Their 3 weeks paid holidays should nearly suffice. Don't junior kids generally start making cards etc around this time of year and I would presume that they give some to their teachers, that should be enough.
CrazyWater
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As a former teacher and spouse of a primary teacher I think that a common collection is completely and absolutely inappropriate, and I know that we would not accept such a gift.
I just hope your friend said no.
Once we were on a skiing holiday and at the end of the week one of the class very forcefully organised a collection with a suggested expensive (IMO) contribution. We were of the opinion that the instructor had in fact not done a good job so we just said no and gave our reason. I later found out that the organiser of the whip around was in fact married to a ski instructor in the school!
Back on topic. The best gift is one that comes because both the child and parent think that you have done a great job. It should be a personal thing and it should involve the child as much as the parent. IMO Thoughtfulness always wins out over monetary value.
BTW Clubman if the whip around was presented as something that you are expected to contribute to and this is repeated then that is a bullying tactic. It may not be deliberate or intended or even in the consciousness of the organiser but it is a bullying tactic. And not identifying the sources of bullying is in part how bullying occurs. The OP’s friend was subjected to a bullying tactic but as you correctly say she was not actually bullied.
I just hope your friend said no.
Once we were on a skiing holiday and at the end of the week one of the class very forcefully organised a collection with a suggested expensive (IMO) contribution. We were of the opinion that the instructor had in fact not done a good job so we just said no and gave our reason. I later found out that the organiser of the whip around was in fact married to a ski instructor in the school!
Back on topic. The best gift is one that comes because both the child and parent think that you have done a great job. It should be a personal thing and it should involve the child as much as the parent. IMO Thoughtfulness always wins out over monetary value.
BTW Clubman if the whip around was presented as something that you are expected to contribute to and this is repeated then that is a bullying tactic. It may not be deliberate or intended or even in the consciousness of the organiser but it is a bullying tactic. And not identifying the sources of bullying is in part how bullying occurs. The OP’s friend was subjected to a bullying tactic but as you correctly say she was not actually bullied.