It is the long term effect of this situation to me. I don't want this person in my life anymore (sounds extreme i know but true). ....
Not one bit extreme, but completely honest and realistic and logical as well.
The next bit is why you want to keep it:
1. my parents gave us the deposit.
2. I have furnished the place,
3. he has been out of work for 3 years
4. and I paid for everything.
None of the above is relevant. Deposit is gone, you still have the furniture, so what he's been out of work for 3 years, that's the way Ireland is, not his fault, and why wouldn't you pay for everything if he couldn't afford to do so, that's just resentment (I'm being very blunt here, but we need to talk figures)
Final bit
1. If i go to try and sell if allowed I will be left with nothing only debt AND will still be tied to him.
2. To be honest my main concern is the negative equity loan if we were to sell,
3. he cannot be trusted to keep this up and could possibly ruin my credit rating.
4. I like where i live it is my home and if it was in my name don't want to move....
5.Just taking over his portion of the negative equity is whats causing me concern and wondered if there was ANYTHING that can be done about that bit of it i suppose
I'll take these one by one.
1. You won't be left with nothing if you sell, you will be free of a house that you ties you to a partner who want nothing to do with, it's only a house and there will be houses again for you in the future. And keeping the house jointly and living together in it is only going to get worse when one or other of you gets a new partner.
2. Don't worry about the negative equity if you can afford it. If you cannot afford it, it will be taken care of by the insolvency legislation, if you can afford it, well you made a financial decision that went sour, unfortunatly in life not all financial decisions work out for the best, but if you can solve that by you and he or even just you paying back the NE then that is a good start to getting your life back on track.
3. He cannot be trusted, better you learn this now, it has happened to all of us in our relationships, better it happens while young and where one can start again and haven't made the even bigger mistake of marrying them or worse having kids mixed into the equation.
4. So you love where you live and you think you've the means to do it on your own, then go for it, but don't have regrets.
5. If he doesn't have money what is the point of trying to make him liable for the NE. He is liable, but that's no good to you when he cannot pay you anything.
None of the above is intended to hurt you. Like many others in your situation who've come on AAM you're looking for a magic wand. There isn't one I'm afraid. But sensible cold financial advice is what is needed where a relationship has broken down, money is at issue and one partner has no money.