Hi,
As far as I know it was written on a brochure that the deposit was non-refundable. I know that this is law. Why I posted the question was to get constructive advice like Kiddo's, regarding negotiating if the date is re-booked by someone else. I also though that other people may have experienced this and may have been able to tell me what outcome thay had. My feeling is that there is still a year utiil the date and the hotel has plenty of time to get someone else, they have not been out of pocket for anything.
I also wondered if the wedding assistant's verbal offer to return the deposit was worth anything. She offered it before my sister's ex asked for it back (I think she said she would have to check witht the manager but didn't see a problem).
Ronan_d_john, as I made the point, they booked the wedding not foreseeing that they would be cancelling due to relationship breakdown. I am just looking for advice for them on the best approach to make to try to see if someone will bend the rules slightly - the difference between this and the rules of the road is that if you drive on the right you are putting someone else's life in danger. I don't think 1,000 would exactly be life threatening for the hotel in question. There are some rules in life that are non-negotiable and some that are. I am trying to find out how negotiable this one might be so I still feel justified in asking the question and would appreciate any other advice.