Asking kids to go and play on the Green

liaconn

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I live in an apartment and last night at ten o'clock I had a gang of kids out shouting and playing really loudly immediately below my apartment windows. There is a big green a few yards away so I asked them to go and play there as it was getting late and they were making a lot of noise. They went reluctantly and I got a pretty dirty look from a woman who I know is one of their parents this morning when we were both getting into our cars to go to work. I just smiled and said hello and she said 'you know, the kids are entitled to play on the Green'. I said 'of course they are. I actually asked them to go and play on the Green. I just didn't want them playing right outside my windows at that time as they were making a lot of noise'. She just muttered something and got into her car.

I feel awful now and don't know what these kids have told their parents. Just wondering how people would handle it. Should I just grit my teeth and put up with the screeching and shrieking rather than have hassle from the parents? Just a bit taken aback as I would have thought asking them to move onto the Green at that hour was a reasonable request.

I can understand the kids being a bit huffy about it, but I would have thought parents would understand that a big gang of kids playing right outside someone else's house or apartment at 10pm is unfair, when there's a large empty green a few short steps away.
 
You were completely reasonable and within your rights to ask them to move.
Don't worry about it.
 
I asked a couple of the children where they lived as this was the second time in about five minutes I'd had to go out to them and said I'd speak with their parents if it happened again.

I've heard, via a neighbour, that one of the children went home crying about that and their dad is very annoyed about the incident being so 'confrontational'. I've sent him a message, via our neighbourhood forum, explaining what happened and apologising for upsetting his daughter but trying to explain the context and how kids are constantly congregating right beneath my apartment and making loud noise.

I feel a bit sick, actually.
 
There's a thread here somewhere (I think Yachtie started it) about kids playing in front of their house. There's plenty of divided opinion in that.

No harm IMO in asking them to move on but some parents won't like it.
 
There's a thread here somewhere (I think Yachtie started it) about kids playing in front of their house. There's plenty of divided opinion in that.

No harm IMO in asking them to move on but some parents won't like it.

From memory, I think that thread might be slightly different. Weren't they giving out about children playing at 5pm or something because they had a child?

It sounds like you were perfectly reasonable. I have the same problem with kids playing until 11pm some evenings. I don't mind most evenings during the summer but I came home the other day at 11pm and there were about 6 kids playing on the actual road in the dark when there is a green. I would say the eldest kid was eight. I realy don't understand it. I want to say it is lazy parenting but I don't know...

Anyway, don't worry about it. If your neighbours have a problem, let them come to you.
 
True. I just feel that maybe I'm now going to be perceived as the big bad wolf by kids whose parents just don't seem to understand how annoying it is to have a gang of other people's kids constantly screaming outside your home on sunny evenings, forcing you to close your windows etc.
 
I live in an apartment and last night at ten o'clock I had a gang of kids out shouting and playing really loudly immediately below my apartment windows. There is a big green a few yards away so I asked them to go and play there as it was getting late and they were making a lot of noise. They went reluctantly and I got a pretty dirty look from a woman who I know is one of their parents this morning when we were both getting into our cars to go to work. I just smiled and said hello and she said 'you know, the kids are entitled to play on the Green'. I said 'of course they are. I actually asked them to go and play on the Green. I just didn't want them playing right outside my windows at that time as they were making a lot of noise'. She just muttered something and got into her car.

Now she knows the true story so you have nothing to feel worried/sorry about

I feel awful now and don't know what these kids have told their parents. Just wondering how people would handle it. Should I just grit my teeth and put up with the screeching and shrieking rather than have hassle from the parents? Just a bit taken aback as I would have thought asking them to move onto the Green at that hour was a reasonable request.

Of course its a reasonable request for you to make and it will only get worse if not nipped in the bud now. Been there done that etc. In our situation kids started arriving by bus from other estates to congregate. A fire was lit one night at 1 a.m. because it was quite cold. Gardai had to sort it eventually. I'm talking about a very quiet estate where this type of stuff does not normally happen. Word gets around that there's a bit of craic to be had. The holiday season is upon us and this will go on until September if not nipped in the bud now. Community Gardai are great for sorting this type of stuff out and liaising between parties too.

I can understand the kids being a bit huffy about it, but I would have thought parents would understand that a big gang of kids playing right outside someone else's house or apartment at 10pm is unfair, when there's a large empty green a few short steps away.

Of course they understand but it suits them to ignore what's right and wrong.

I asked a couple of the children where they lived as this was the second time in about five minutes I'd had to go out to them and said I'd speak with their parents if it happened again.

I've heard, via a neighbour, that one of the children went home crying about that and their dad is very annoyed about the incident being so 'confrontational'. I've sent him a message, via our neighbourhood forum, explaining what happened and apologising for upsetting his daughter but trying to explain the context and how kids are constantly congregating right beneath my apartment and making loud noise.

I feel a bit sick, actually.

No need to feel sick. You were perfectly within your rights if this is happening regularly and its up to him to address the problem with his daughter.

No harm IMO in asking them to move on but some parents won't like it.
Therein lies the problem these days, let them hang around their own parents' homes and the matter would be resolved quickly.

I would say the eldest kid was eight. I realy don't understand it. I want to say it is lazy parenting but I don't know...

Anyway, don't worry about it. If your neighbours have a problem, let them come to you.

Receipe for disaster in years to come with 8 years olds still out at 11 p.m. unsupervised. Definitely lazy parenting.

True. I just feel that maybe I'm now going to be perceived as the big bad wolf by kids whose parents just don't seem to understand how annoying it is to have a gang of other people's kids constantly screaming outside your home on sunny evenings, forcing you to close your windows etc.

You will need to toughen up (sorry for being so direct) but been there done that etc. We were soft in the beginning too and paid a price. It doesn't matter how they perceive you. They're not worried about you so why should you worry about them. If they were they would stop the kids hanging around and making noise at that time of night.
 
Excellent post Sue Ellen, I totally agree.
Liaconn, don't be worrying. Just to reiterate Sue Ellen's final lines, the parents don't care about you, why would you care about them.
If they cared, they would be keeping an eye on their kids, and would know that it was perfectly reasonable that a neighbour didn't want them under their window, when there is a perfectly good space nearby, for them to play in. I wouldn't give too much credence to the story about the child running home crying either.
 
If you've any concerns, just go talk to the parents and explain the situation. Most will be reasonable and you'll feel a lot better. Most parents automatic response is to get very defensive when people give out to their kids.
 
Most parents automatic response is to get very defensive when people give out to their kids.

Sad but true - I know I would be initially annoyed if someone gave out to my kids, I think it's just instinct etc. However, that wouldn't stop me giving out to other people's kids!

You are better off having said something in the long run.

I'm more worried about kids that age being out that late!
 
Liaconn, you have my sympathy. The do-gooders of this country will inform you that you should have approached the parents. They will also inform you that you were in the wrong in approaching the kids.

I was in the same ship as you some years ago and when I contacted the offending kids parents they were less than sympathetic and one parent who initially thanked me for not contacting the Gardaí and said in future breaches he should be contacted first. On my next visit to this parent I was informed that I was hassling the kids and that if I did not stop he would prosecute me and seek financial compensation.

I bet though that others are suffering the same as you and are in true Irish spirit letting you fight their battles for them while they hide behind closed curtains. Also, I bet that the parents and kids have now branded you as the interfering creep and you are on the greatest losing streak your area has seen.

Sooner or later (if this kind of anti social behaviour continues) you will have to contact the Gardaí, like you should have done first instant and anonymously.

I know what you are going through and now that you are known, things will get worse. I hope I am wrong.
 
Sooner or later (if this kind of anti social behaviour continues) you will have to contact the Gardaí, like you should have done first instant and anonymously.

You do know that the Gardai won't/ can't do anything for an anonymous complaint like that? On the off chance they do, it's going to be pretty obvious who the complainant was. Bringing the Gardai into situations like this generally only serves to escalate the issue.
 
If you've any concerns, just go talk to the parents and explain the situation. Most will be reasonable and you'll feel a lot better. Most parents automatic response is to get very defensive when people give out to their kids.

From my experience:-

1. Talk to the Parents:- Probably a great waste of time. They will see you as a crank.
2. Talk to the offending kids:- Probably a greater waste of time and will raise hackles from the parents and the kids now have a target.
3. Suggesting to the kids that they go and play on the nearby green will be interpreted as Liaconn deciding to run their little lives.
4. Liaconn has become the greatest patsy and a godsend to neighbours who see this as an excuse not to get involved. And, of course their battles are being fought for them. Believe me, they will fight to the last drop of your blood.
5. Now the neighbours have carte blanche to contact the Gardaí anonymously. The Gardaí will act (have no doubt) and Liaconn now becomes the "villain." It will be generally believed that she contacted the Guards.
6. What's happening at 10.00pm now will be continuing at much later times, very shortly.

Anti social behaviour is a matter for the Gardaí. You get involved, you will suffer and carry the can for those behind the closed curtains.
 
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From my experience:-

1. Talk to the Parents:- Probably a great waste of time. They will see you as a crank.
2. Talk to the offending kids:- Probably a greater waste of time and will raise hackles from the parents and the kids now have a target.

I've only had one experience, but talking to the kids was a complete waste of time, spoke to the parents once, issue resolved.
 
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