Separation Advice

S

shane22

Guest
I would really appreciate some advice on this, difficult to get good professional advice on this, so just said I’d try here as someone may have similar experience.
I separated from my wife almost 1 year ago, we were only married 2 years. She instigated the split and left the family home. She has not been willing to reconcile since, so need to get things done formally. We are staying civil as much as we can to sort this and both want it done simply as possible.

Because we were married for such a short time, we never really got to join things up much financially, so savings, etc are straightforward. The main issue is the family home. We bought it before we were married. It is solely in my name – we left her off it so she would remain a first time buyer if she ever wanted to buy again. We paid 400k for the property, got a loan for 350k and paid 50k as a deposit from our savings – I paid approx 35k, she paid 15k.

At a rough estimate, the property is worth about 290k now, while there is approx 310k still left on the loan. I life alone at present in the property, and don’t particularly want to move as there has been enough stress lately!

We both have very good paying jobs, although I do earn maybe 30% more than her. She has small enough savings and I would have significantly more than her. I have some other property interests, however not of major value. Both would have work pensions.

She basically just wanted some home contents (which she has taken) and the 15k she put in as the deposit to the property and leave the property to me. I was sort of agreeable to this primarily for the reason that it would be straightforward and sorted quickly. However when I started to do the sums, I will be left with a considerable liability with the property while she would walk away without bearing any loss due to the fall in the value while we had it. I would basically be tied to it for probably a very long time and maybe never recover the original value esp with the cost of the loan too, while she could invest in a new property at current prices.

It probably doesn’t help my state of mind that she is in a new relationship pretty much since we split and from what I can gather, it appears to be going very well. While my primary aim is to be treated fairly, it would be a bit much to be what may be cutting her a good deal and letting her walk away with on liability to the property and actually helping her set up with someone else.

You may ask why did we get married in the first place….well I ask myself the same thing every day!!

Can anyone throw some guidance on this? Should I just pay her the 15k and be done? If I don’t agree to this, could she be entitled to much more (my savings, etc?). I guess we could sell the property, however we would both lose our deposits and have to pay the bank to cover the deficit that would be on the loan.

While I wouldn’t be left broke, I would be left with a large liability with the property (although when it’s a home, that is not such an issue, however it would seriously limit my options should I want to leave in the future). While she is not wealthy, she has very good earnings and prospects (she is in early 30’s) and I would certainly consider her financially independent.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance
 
Couple of things on a fairness point only not legal, although I would suggest you seek legal advice also.

Seems you paid two thirds deposit and she paid third (there or there about).
How did you split the mortgage payments (was it 2/3 :1/3 also or different).
If it and household bills etc were paid with this similar division I would say not to agree to pay her the 15K. If you paid a lot more than here overall or the majority I would also say not to agree to pay her the 15k.
You say the house is in your name only, is this the case with the mortgage too or are both named on the mortgage?
If only you on both, she should be reminded that she will not be subject to stamp duty if she was to buy again where as if you wanted to move you would be.
You seem to have a considerable amount paid off the mortgage - did you use lump sums for this and or additional payments?
I would look at what similar houses are achieving in the area and calculate the difference between whats owed and what u might get for it. I think she may be liable to pay you a 1/3 of this figure especially if you have continued to split bills etc in this manner since buying.
Try to thing of it as a business transaction and park the emotions to the side. Harder said than done.
I wish you well
 
Really appreciate your taking time to reply
we have no children obviously
just checked the loan balance..actually approx 315k left. No lump sum payments...we have it about 6 years.
I paid roughly 60% of the monthly mortgage (I was paid more). Hard to get a value on the property as it is a bit unique in the estate, but I would say not more than 280-290k at present. Its obvious that It would be a poor deal for me, but question really if it got legal, could she be entitled to my savings (given family law, etc?). One thing not paying her the 15k, but to get her to pay me a portion of the loss....well pigs might fly I think!!
 
I will be left with a considerable liability with the property while she would walk away without bearing any loss due to the fall in the value while we had it. I would basically be tied to it for probably a very long time and maybe never recover the original value esp with the cost of the loan too, while she could invest in a new property at current prices.

Can anyone throw some guidance on this? Should I just pay her the 15k and be done? If I don’t agree to this, could she be entitled to much more (my savings, etc?). I guess we could sell the property, however we would both lose our deposits and have to pay the bank to cover the deficit that would be on the loan.

Firstly apologies on your situation, I have been in similar one, (house with partner then split) and can appreciate how difficult it is.

While it would be the easiest and quickest way to give her 15k you will, as you have already pointed out, be saddled with a big mortgage for a house that has lost value and will continue to do so, even if you could sell it.

IMHO under no circumstances should you do this, you were married so she has an equal entitlement to share the pain of the situation. Sell the house and both of you come to an arrangement as to how to cover the loss..I read of a similar situation involing a couple outside Drogheda recently

if you need any thing else pm me...
 
but question really if it got legal, could she be entitled to my savings (given family law, etc?). One thing not paying her the 15k, but to get her to pay me a portion of the loss....well pigs might fly I think!!

I think you need to see a solicitor and perhaps starting reading the reports of the family law courts, link below. I do not wish to be glib but I am sure there are other cases like this...

[broken link removed]
 
Again as others have stated - see a solicitor. But by giving her the €15,000 does this mean she wouldn't be looking to get a portion of your savings and property assets? If so then you may be getting off lightly depending on the value of these.
 
Sorry to hear your troubles.

The solution seems simple once you know two hard facts - will your wife be entitled to any of your savings if you do the break up officially, and does she have any liability for the mortgage even though the house & mortgage are in your name (OP to confirm).

So you have a few eventualities:


  • she is entitled some savings, but has no legal liability on the mortgage - simple solution, if her entitlement > 15k then give her the money and put an end to it
  • she is entitled some savings, and has liability for some of the mortgage: you can bring this to her attention, either one wipes out the other, or you give her less than 15k, or you go to court/arbitration to try and get money from her for the excess of her liability
  • she is not entitled to savings - then you have to decide what way you want to play it, but most likely you'll have a contested situation and will end up having to get some sort of legally arrived at settlement
So you need to find out what savings she might be entitled to, and what liabilities she has on the house. These should be fairly hard and fast answers, with wriggle room in the specifics perhaps. Armed with these facts, you'll be better informed as to how to proceed. Only a lawyer can give you this info, but the advice above re reading some of the judgements may give you some indication.
 
I believe "proper provision" for both parties is a fundamental tenet, so as YOBR said, the mortgage burden doesn't just rest on your shoulders alone. Have you considered the dispute resolution/mediation or arbitration routes as well as the legal?
 
OP: Advise you seek solution that is legally recognised. (and recommened by a solictor you trust (not hers!))
As stated keep your feelings and emotions out of the equation. Treat as business transaction.
Mediation is obviously preferred route. Does she not think the same?
Why not? She is a reasonable person after all and so are you?
Or is there something more sinister here? Don't assume anything but if you must assume the worst & hope your wrong. Cover your ass, and keep your feelings under control and your wits about you.... you know....just in case........
:)
 
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